Monday, September 28, 2009
its a small world after all
HI people its a small world after all.
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small small world.
:) that was random!
im sorry for the really really late update. i have been kind of reluctant to use the computer these few days.
IM EATING WAFFLES. MMMmmm ITS NICE.
sorry back to my post.
Children Church is super duper cute! Whee. Pastor Eileen is so so so awesome, when she went on stage all the kids suddenly become very guai. Hah. i wish i could do that.
time for my nonsense already. Nobody likes to read about Tan Jin blogging about his life.
Definition of "YUPNESS"
Yupness is a word use to emphasize your strong willingness in doing something and while doing so not needing to worry about a long reply from the other party to re access ur willingness.
example.
other party: Can you help me do a birthday card for someone?
me: Okays.
other party: You sure ah? dont cheat my feeling hor, the card need to be done one XX/XX/XXXX
me: Yessss! i will do it.
other party: Huhhh... you sound reluctant leh. you sure you can do it.
me: yes yes yes i will do it.
other party: okay okay okay. thx so much.
the above would be a typical case where the "me" have a hard time convincing someone that he is willing to do the task thrown at him.
But people, fear no more with the YUPNESS. it will solve all ur problems, taking the same case study.
Other party: Can you help me do a birthday card for someone?
Me: YUPNESS!
Other party: erm..HAHA. okays
SEE IT SOLVES ALL UR PROBLEM.
THROW IN A SMILEY FACE BEHIND.
Today on how to do it.
we will discuss on how to kill dracula. cause obviously i hate him so much. :D
1.Since he is afraid of the light, when he comes out of his coffin at night, wait until he is gone, go and lock his coffin a throw away the keys. the when he comes back he will realise, oh no! somebody locked his house and he will be forced to wait outside and when the sun comes up. HE DIES! :D :D :D
2.Buy insecticide, when dracula transform into the cute little bat, aim the insecticide at him and spray!!! it would Knock him unconscious, then when it drops on the floor, pick him up and put him in a hamster cage. this would ensure that when he transforms back into dracula, the cage would be too small and he would crack all his bones, or eventually die of starvation. HAHAHA
3.GLUE his coffin shut. so that dracula cannot come out.
4.Make dracula watch the ring. :D the ugly girl in the show would kill dracula.
5.Bring Garlic... Garlic chilli. that thing is extremely toxic, be careful not to kill urself with that, its so smelly that if frankenstein smelt it, he would die also. Macdonald's is the safest place if you want to hide from dracula.if you want to use it to kill dracula. while he is about the bite you, grab a packet tear it open, the smell is going to knock him out temporarily case he hates garlic, empty the packet into his mouth. cause Chilli kills. hahaha.
THE END. i cant believe my counter went past 1k. so many retarded people reading my retarded post. hahahaha
HAHAHA.JIN "
yellowED" at 10:24:00 AM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
SHORT NONSENSICAL POST
HELLO people. IM WORKING SO I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME TO POST.
ITS OKAY. YOU WOULD HAVE TO WAIT FOR A DECENT NONSENSICAL POST FOR A WEEK.
THIS POST IS JUST TO SHOW THAT I HAVE NOT DIED MY BLOG!
AWESOME!!
AWESOME!!!
AWESOME!!!!
AWESOME!!!!!
IM GOING TO GET MY PHONE BACK! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
IM HAPPY. IM HAPPY. IM HAPPY. IM HAPPY. IM HAPPY. IM HAPPY!
ARE YOU HAPPY? IF U ARE NOT YOU CAN SHARE MY JOY. HAHAHAHAHA
WHEEE. SORRY. =.=
ANYWAY I HATE DRACULA!
5 REASONS WHY I HATE DRACULA.
ONE : HE SUCKS! ... BLOOD OUT OF PEOPLE'S NECK.
im not scolding vulgarities! haha. blood is red, kinda of looks like chilli.
I HATE CHILLI TO THE MAX!
TWO : Being a vampire has an advantage that he doesnt need to study, lucky him
THREE : He gets to sleep all day, and play all night
FOUR : He wears an ugly shirt
FIVE : I JUST DUN LIKE HIM, U HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
yay. the end.
IM LEGALLY RAPHAEL TAN JIN now by the way!
KFC, MACS ftw! away with foodcourts! hahaha.
WHY ONLY 2 MEMBERS IN WHACK? everyone hates chilli. i dun understand.
KEEP SIGNING UP PPL!
HAHAHA.JIN "
yellowED" at 11:05:00 AM
Friday, September 11, 2009
another nonsensical entry
HELLO! im here to announce that RAPHAEL TAN JIN IS PERFECTLY SANE. :)
it is not a lie. cause i can think well can i am not on IMH wanted list.
im on twitter! just kidding.
i mean i really am. HIXZXZX MYXZXZXZXZ NAMEXZXZSZXZX ISHZXZX TAN JIN. I TWITSXZXXZXZ.
im a twit :) so i twitter.
AHH! WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT. IM NOT ON TWITTER.
TODAY ON ANOTHER SERIES OF HOW TO MAKE THINGS TASTE NICE.
1.GLUESTICK.
i am sure that if you have ever eaten a glue stick u would agree that it taste bland, sticky and kind of a horrible taste.
today if you follow my simple instruction, it will never taste bad again.
step 1. take the gluestick and turn it out to the max so that the whole glue stick is exposed.
step 2. dip the gluestick into a tub of sugar.
step 3. dip the sugar coated gluestick into condensed milk.
step 4. sprinkle milo powder all over it.
and its ready to eat! dun worry about the sugar dropping all over. :) its glue. if it doesnt stick well, change brand, whats the use of an unsticky gluestick. eat fast. do not suck the glue stick too much. swallow it before it loses its flavouring.
2. Cardboard boxes
cardboard boxes are generally hard to chew and thus making it hard to swallow. it would exude this papery taste when stick in your mouth too long. so how do we solve this problem.
step 1. cut out your cardboard boxes into a standard square shape.
step 2. prepare a cut of tea.
step 3. dip and eat.
it now as a nicer texture, soggy and taste of tea. THATS HOW U EAT CARDBOARD. :)
3. Vegetable
Vegetables are usually eaten when there is nothing else left to eat. it is suppose to be nutritious, but who care if it tastes bad. i would choose to have MEATBALLS anytime compared to vegetables. but on today's how to do it, im going to teach u how to eat ur vegetables.
but before that lets examines some pretty sneaky way adults try to force us to eat vegetables. WHY MUST WE SUFFER FOR THEIR BAD FARMING SKILLS?
- wanton : have you people ever realised that in a wanton, they wrap the meat together with the vegetables and make us eat it? and they even wrap it up in a yellow skin so that we do not see it. DO NOT BE TRICKED.
- oyster sauce : yes i admit i like oyster sauce. but it is only most of the time applied on vegetables. when we put the vegetable with the oyster sauce in our mouth, it taste kinda nice for a few second and then the vegetable taste comes out. thats kinda sneaky.
- abalone : why do they always cook abalone with vegetables. :(
- celery : whats with celery anyway? its taste bad. people stop growing it. its yuck.
- i like complaining about how bad vegetables taste :)
- fried dumpling : it taste nice, but they trick us by putting vege in it. a full meat dumpling would taste so nice!
anyway back to how to make vegetables taste nice.
step 1. take the vegetable on ur fork, or chopstick.
step 2. put it on your brother's plate when he is not looking.
step 3. feign ignorance.
:) its always nicer when you are not the one eating it.
3. chilli
SORRY nobody should eat chilli. its LA JIAO, it sounds like LA JI(rubbish) which means they are related. they have the same surname. chilli cannot taste nice no matter what you do to it. it is really bad. you can try
- putting the sauce in water, an the whole pot of water will taste like chilli
- using tissue to clean it off, the chilli ends up in the rubbish anyway
- adding sugar, IT IS POINTLESS, sweet chilli and normal chilli doest have a difference, its still chilli, stop asking me to try
- adding garlic is the worse thing to do. macdonald's only downfall is the garlic chilli, hasnt anyone told them that the chilli they have is so SMELLY??
- the red appearance should be changed to blue or something, red is kind of freaky.
in other words. NOPE chilli cant be made to taste nicer.
CHILLI TASTE BAD, SMELLS BAD, IS BAD, TOO BAD.
JOIN ME NOW IN MY CAMPAIGN, THE WHACK MOVEMENT. (WE HATE ALL CHILLI. KENTUCKY!)
uhh the kentucky doesnt make sense but it gives the movement more sense. < only smart people will understand that line!
sign up on my tagboard now. and complimentary tissue papers to clean off chilli will be given out at any toilets near you. grab one today.
the end. what a nonsensical post
HAHAHA.JIN "
yellowED" at 11:38:00 AM
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
time to post something
HI! i have lost all my urges to blog.
But i will still update my blog for fun. cause its fun to share nonsense.
i dont want to share about my life on my blog. So silly. who would want to know whether i ate Fishballs or Meatballs for my dinner. Nobody cares!!
anyway i ate MEATBALLS. thats an exception. everyone loves to hear someone eating meatballs every now and then.
SHAKER FRIES IS MACDONALD's best best best best best thing on the MENU. i'll become suicidal if they remove it. I think im crazy. i enjoy eating Macspicy but i regret immediately after eating it. i will feel like my butts on fire after i eat it!
SO today im going to share on how to travel without a car.
im going to share 7 practical ways to do it. why seven? cause one mode of transport a day for a week!
MONDAY : OH NO! i need to go to XXXXXXXX but i dont have a car! how? WHEN THERE ISNT A CAR, Rent a COW. How to ride a cow u asking? its really simple. just climb onto it. TADA! u have a COW-car. just kick it to make it move, grab its horns for steering. when u are thirsty just reach down for milk! Even better, there is no need to wait for traffic lights. those losers in their cars can eat ur COW. i mean dust.
verdict *****. and absolute five stars for convenience, practicality and no traffic lights. If you are hungry. :) hehehe... hehehe... buy potato chips. what are you thinking? dont eat the cow!
TUESDAY : Hais. wanna buy this Shirt at "some far place" how? i dont have a car, maybe i'll just borrow 7 of my friends dogs and tie them up on a leash together. then i'll sit on my skateboard and whoo i have a dog-pulled sled!
its low maintenance cause its its your friend's Dogs and skateboard is pretty cheap. Same thing, no traffic lights to bother you and it clears the way. most people are scared of dogs, let alone 7 dogs. its a sure winner.
verdict ***. cheap efficient enough to get by. But friends sometimes are unwilling to loan out their bigger dogs. you cant go far with 7 chihuahuas. and im scared of dogs. its hard to steer with dogs. but besides that its a pretty good way to travel. u can get a bigger skateboard with a pillow at the bottom fot comfort.
WEDNESDAY : IM LATE FOR WORK/SCHOOL/MEETING! HOW? drive a lorry. its not a CAR! im not bending the rules. Or even better hitch hike someone else's lorry. HOW to hitchhike. here are a few practical steps. stand a a pavement and stick out ur hand. dont not wave it, i repeat DO NOT WAVE IT. if you do that you will get a cab, and u would have to pay. thats not hitch hiking. stick ur hand out with a Good sign. thumb facing up. If there are nice people around, they will pick you up! do not do this while standing on the road. a car might knock ur arm off.
verdict ****. the fastest way to travel besides the car. but i minus one star cause you would have to wait for traffic lights and petrol cost. oh wait make that **. we all hate traffic lights. if you are hitch hiking, sometimes you dont get lucky. so verdict is i prefer the cow.
THURSDAY : This place has nice food but its so far. HOW? you can walk. its simple, and the very first way of transport known to mankind. Sure its slow. so what? its free, and it works up a good appetite.
verdict ***. 3 stars because its slow and and we have to wait for traffic lights! a cow can jaywalk why cant we? oh and walking not recommended for long distance. if you intend to walk from changi to Jurong. i wish u Good luck and i'll be praying for u.
FRIDAY: IM kinda running out of ideas for scenarios. Um... i have to get there but i dont have a car. HOW? this method has not been tested. never hurts to try. first u buy 2 those plastic boards in popular. then use masking tape and tape it to ur arms. Make sure its really tight. after that u just go out of ur house, preferably a hdb 10 floor and above. get a running start, and jump out of the corridor, position urself like a plane, now you will be like a glider and hopefully glide to ur destination. if u are losing altitude, flap really hard. then it will make u fly up a little and u can stay in the air longer
verdict ***** or *. if you manage to fly its 5 stars cause its extremely quick and a whole new thrilling experience. it only takes one time to master it. cause if you dont master it... ... its 1 star for you. the floor is 10 storeys down. If you fall from that height, chances are you wont fly again.
SATURDAY: AHHHH another scenario, i need to meet my friend. i dont have a car. how? go to a sports shop, example royal sporting house or world of sports. Buy a float. and this is a difficult part! pray for rain. alot alot of rain. if it floods. you will get to your destination really fast. but if it doesnt. you will look pretty silly walking around with a float.
verdict **. Not likely to flood in Singapore, but it does make a good excuse if you are late for your date with your Girlfriend or Boyfriend. Girlfriend screams, "WHY ARE U LATE! I THOUGHT I TOLD U 7 O CLOCK?", boyfriend says, "well! i wanted to be early, i stood there with my float at 430! what do you want me to do if it doesnt rains." Then of course, because of this excuse the girlfriend will forgive the boyfriend and all is well.
SUNDAY: i need to go church but i dont have a car, im not going to make it on time. HOW? find yourself a really really large box, sit inside, pad it with pillows and tape the top shut. get your siblings to put u at Singapore post and you fedex yourself down to the location. its fast and efficient.
verdict *****. five stars! travel with speed and style. if you think a box is stylish. well during this trip u can catch a few moments of sleep. the only bad point about this you either end up on time or u end up at the location the next day if you miss the timing.
thats it folks. hope my HOW TO DO GUIDE HAS BEEN USEFUL.
END OF POST.
i love SHAKERFRIES, my sofa, Chimpy, Bun Bun, my guitars and my bolster. WHOO.
the end.
HAHAHA.JIN "
yellowED" at 8:23:00 PM