Wednesday, September 02, 2009
time to post something
HI! i have lost all my urges to blog.
But i will still update my blog for fun. cause its fun to share nonsense.
i dont want to share about my life on my blog. So silly. who would want to know whether i ate Fishballs or Meatballs for my dinner. Nobody cares!!
anyway i ate MEATBALLS. thats an exception. everyone loves to hear someone eating meatballs every now and then.
SHAKER FRIES IS MACDONALD's best best best best best thing on the MENU. i'll become suicidal if they remove it. I think im crazy. i enjoy eating Macspicy but i regret immediately after eating it. i will feel like my butts on fire after i eat it!
SO today im going to share on how to travel without a car.
im going to share 7 practical ways to do it. why seven? cause one mode of transport a day for a week!
MONDAY : OH NO! i need to go to XXXXXXXX but i dont have a car! how? WHEN THERE ISNT A CAR, Rent a COW. How to ride a cow u asking? its really simple. just climb onto it. TADA! u have a COW-car. just kick it to make it move, grab its horns for steering. when u are thirsty just reach down for milk! Even better, there is no need to wait for traffic lights. those losers in their cars can eat ur COW. i mean dust.
verdict *****. and absolute five stars for convenience, practicality and no traffic lights. If you are hungry. :) hehehe... hehehe... buy potato chips. what are you thinking? dont eat the cow!
TUESDAY : Hais. wanna buy this Shirt at "some far place" how? i dont have a car, maybe i'll just borrow 7 of my friends dogs and tie them up on a leash together. then i'll sit on my skateboard and whoo i have a dog-pulled sled!
its low maintenance cause its its your friend's Dogs and skateboard is pretty cheap. Same thing, no traffic lights to bother you and it clears the way. most people are scared of dogs, let alone 7 dogs. its a sure winner.
verdict ***. cheap efficient enough to get by. But friends sometimes are unwilling to loan out their bigger dogs. you cant go far with 7 chihuahuas. and im scared of dogs. its hard to steer with dogs. but besides that its a pretty good way to travel. u can get a bigger skateboard with a pillow at the bottom fot comfort.
WEDNESDAY : IM LATE FOR WORK/SCHOOL/MEETING! HOW? drive a lorry. its not a CAR! im not bending the rules. Or even better hitch hike someone else's lorry. HOW to hitchhike. here are a few practical steps. stand a a pavement and stick out ur hand. dont not wave it, i repeat DO NOT WAVE IT. if you do that you will get a cab, and u would have to pay. thats not hitch hiking. stick ur hand out with a Good sign. thumb facing up. If there are nice people around, they will pick you up! do not do this while standing on the road. a car might knock ur arm off.
verdict ****. the fastest way to travel besides the car. but i minus one star cause you would have to wait for traffic lights and petrol cost. oh wait make that **. we all hate traffic lights. if you are hitch hiking, sometimes you dont get lucky. so verdict is i prefer the cow.
THURSDAY : This place has nice food but its so far. HOW? you can walk. its simple, and the very first way of transport known to mankind. Sure its slow. so what? its free, and it works up a good appetite.
verdict ***. 3 stars because its slow and and we have to wait for traffic lights! a cow can jaywalk why cant we? oh and walking not recommended for long distance. if you intend to walk from changi to Jurong. i wish u Good luck and i'll be praying for u.
FRIDAY: IM kinda running out of ideas for scenarios. Um... i have to get there but i dont have a car. HOW? this method has not been tested. never hurts to try. first u buy 2 those plastic boards in popular. then use masking tape and tape it to ur arms. Make sure its really tight. after that u just go out of ur house, preferably a hdb 10 floor and above. get a running start, and jump out of the corridor, position urself like a plane, now you will be like a glider and hopefully glide to ur destination. if u are losing altitude, flap really hard. then it will make u fly up a little and u can stay in the air longer
verdict ***** or *. if you manage to fly its 5 stars cause its extremely quick and a whole new thrilling experience. it only takes one time to master it. cause if you dont master it... ... its 1 star for you. the floor is 10 storeys down. If you fall from that height, chances are you wont fly again.
SATURDAY: AHHHH another scenario, i need to meet my friend. i dont have a car. how? go to a sports shop, example royal sporting house or world of sports. Buy a float. and this is a difficult part! pray for rain. alot alot of rain. if it floods. you will get to your destination really fast. but if it doesnt. you will look pretty silly walking around with a float.
verdict **. Not likely to flood in Singapore, but it does make a good excuse if you are late for your date with your Girlfriend or Boyfriend. Girlfriend screams, "WHY ARE U LATE! I THOUGHT I TOLD U 7 O CLOCK?", boyfriend says, "well! i wanted to be early, i stood there with my float at 430! what do you want me to do if it doesnt rains." Then of course, because of this excuse the girlfriend will forgive the boyfriend and all is well.
SUNDAY: i need to go church but i dont have a car, im not going to make it on time. HOW? find yourself a really really large box, sit inside, pad it with pillows and tape the top shut. get your siblings to put u at Singapore post and you fedex yourself down to the location. its fast and efficient.
verdict *****. five stars! travel with speed and style. if you think a box is stylish. well during this trip u can catch a few moments of sleep. the only bad point about this you either end up on time or u end up at the location the next day if you miss the timing.
thats it folks. hope my HOW TO DO GUIDE HAS BEEN USEFUL.
END OF POST.
i love SHAKERFRIES, my sofa, Chimpy, Bun Bun, my guitars and my bolster. WHOO.
the end.
HAHAHA.JIN "
yellowED" at 8:23:00 PM